A Real Live Exorcism, and Fairy Tale Heroism!

Warning: if you have a weak stomach or are easily disgusted by bodily fluids and functions, please continue to next blog.

This is a true story!

Once upon a lovely afternoon, Dr. Swicegood, Kelly, and Kimberly dined together at Turf’s Tavern (THE pub of Oxford). Dr. Swicegood ordered a delicious steak and ale pie which he graciously shared with his “little duckies”. Kimberly ordered a jacket (commonly known to you Americans as a baked potato with cheese and beans) sharing it with both of her companions as well. Kelly indulged her taste buds with a ham, chicken, and leek pie—quite delicious. Dr. Swicegood and Kimberly split an apple pie a la mode.

(picture of the wonderful dessert!)
Upon hours of shopping and site-seeing, a ferocious demonic presence was sensed within the walls of Logan House and a real exorcism ensued. It was obvious that Kimberly was filled with the evil-blood and her body had to be purged of her inner demon. “Move” shouted the rasping little devil as it body-slammed Kelly away from the bathroom door…”Sorry” squeaked Kimberly as she braced herself against the cold prison-like walls. As the demon violently burst forth from the pit of her stomach and out into the world through her pale chapped lips, Kimberly’s strength was ripped from her frail body. She collapsed onto the floor whimpering and gasping for air, but was soothed by the cool cloth provided by her guardian angel (aka Kelly, who had by now had wrestled her way back to the aid of the damsel in distress). [20 minutes elapsed]. Thinking that all was cleansed, Kelly and Kimberly joined the group for a movie; little did they know that the night had just begun. It was then that Kimberly, shaking and shivering, could no longer contain the remnants of the barbaric beast. Nearly dying, she was ushered back to her room to be buried in blankets and drugged with Pepto-Bismol, ibuprofen, and black tea. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the group, Dr. Swicegood was battling the demon himself and sacrificed his own health for the wee little ducky, praying that the demon would leave her and inhabit his own body…


IT DID!!!

For three days, the battle drug on with no signs of who would come out victorious. Just when all hope seemed lost and Mama Bonnie was prepared to the aid of the town’s leading healers, Dr Swicegood emerged the champion warrior. He saved her life and gave her world-renown fame all in one; the beast was too much of a burden for the girl to carry alone and so Dr. Swicegood shared it with her. He also enabled her to infamously and proudly proclaim “I barfed in CS Lewis’ toilet!” during their next Oxford exploration. In conclusion, be assured that all demons are no longer present, all food is being processed and enjoyed (except for the occasional irritations brought on by Cornish pastry smells), and Kelly Jones inevitably is an ironclad goddess gladiator of the evil demon spirits of the British underworld and unaffected by all attempts at human defeat. (Of this last statement, Kelly suggests it might be a slight “bending” of the truth).

Stay tuned for the next installments of Wofford Oxford Interim Blogs!

Posted by Kimberly Smith and Kelly Jones